Julia Hoffman, Konan Year in Japan Fall 2025
Living longer-term abroad has definitely had its ups and downs. There are, obviously, many things that differ from my normal routine and life that I had to accept and get used to. Not only are stores and food different, but how people interact with each other, even how their world works, is just different.
When the program began something our resident director said really stuck with me – give people the benefit of the doubt, assume no will-ill in others. This has tied into my previous cultural studies, and into interactions I had this past semester. Politeness and manners differ on both large and small-scale depending on the culture. Actions that are seen as good may not be viewed the same in another country. Culture is not something just found in food and folklore, but it is in daily interactions. It affects how companies are run, and how people talk, or do not talk, to others. It is important to remember that although Japan, or any other country, may not seem too different from our own culture at first, differences in values and behaviors affect the core of individuals and society.
For example, there is an emphasis on not invading other people’s spaces, and, generally, an altogether respect and politeness towards others in Japan. This concept appears in different aspects of daily life and in ritual behaviors and expressions. On public transport, one should not play music out loud or talk on the phone. If you are going to talk, do so quietly. When you are a guest at someone’s house, or when eating a shared meal, one is expected to practice self-restraint. This includes ritualized expressions used when entering a home, and not eating the last piece of something.
Although most people are polite towards others, they often do not step outside of that into being friendly, like many in America. Talking to strangers, including the employee checking out your purchases, does not happen often in Japan. This sometimes can be seen as awkward or weird in America, but this is part of the culture in Japan. Depending on the culture, being polite and following the norm in interactions looks different.
A small part of daily behavior I found different in Japan is door-holding. In America, it is common courtesy to hold the door open for others. But in Japan, no one ever holds the door open. This may be due to the large number of automatic doors, but it also has to do with differences between the countries, which has affected this minute part of culture. Japan’s cities are heavily populated, and dense, so if someone was opening the door for others after them, they would be there all day. Not only would it not be rude to not hold the door open in Japan, it would be considered an odd thing to do.
It is also very important to keep in mind differences in language and communication styles. I often interact with Japanese people who are rather proficient, and even fluent, in English. It can be easy to think that they think and develop ideas in the same way as yourself and other native English speakers. Sometimes this way of thinking can negatively affect your interactions and opinions on people proficient in English.
I have had a few times where someone said something rude or backhanded, and wondered why they would say what they did. I mentioned a specific time to my Japanese teacher, a native speaker who was also fluent in English, and he really shed some light on the topic.
There are many nuances in English, often built through tone of voice and the context of phrases used. Second language learners often have trouble identifying when and how to engage these nuances, resulting in native speakers misinterpreting the real meaning of what they meant to say. Often phrases that native speakers may hear as something that is rude, non-native speakers may have used only because that was the way they knew how to get their point across. But, because of a small difference in context, the connotation of their phrase changed. This is a reason why it is important to give people the benefit of the doubt, and critically think about situations.
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