Thomas Hayden, Sophia University Exchange Fall 2024
Before visiting Japan, I had heard about how the people are very polite. Politeness in the Japanese language is certainly intricate compared to English politeness, and is no doubt a large part of the culture. But, while living in Japan, it wasn’t these linguistic differences that stood out to me, but rather the unfamiliar non-verbal manners and customs.
For example, in America, it is considered polite to hold open doors for strangers behind you. This is not expected of people in Japan, and would maybe even confuse the strangers who you hold the door open for. So, if this idea of politeness doesn’t exist in Japan, what Japanese manners might resemble it the most?
Within my first few days of arriving in Japan, I visited a mall and chose to take the elevator up. When a man already in the elevator noticed that I wanted to board, he moved next to the control panel and held the “open” button for me, and then pressed the “close” button once I had made it inside. The man repeated this same process for every floor where someone else got on the elevator, and he also operated the buttons when someone got off the elevator. In return, passengers would share a slight bow with the man when entering and leaving the elevator. I didn’t think much of this experience until the next few times I rode the elevator, and I realized that a passenger will always operate the control panel for others before reaching their own destination floor. Having since learned that this is good manners in Japan, I now do my part in operating the elevator for others.
Although this is a small and seemingly insignificant observation on manners, one can make many such observations living in Tokyo and anywhere else Japan. You might observe the unspoken rule of standing on the left side of escalators so those who are in a hurry can walk up the right side, or the custom of staying quiet and silencing your phone on trains, or the people in restaurants calling their waiter over instead of waiting for them to visit, or the expectation to physically bow at the proper times during a phone call even when the listener can’t see you, and so on.
It is indeed these small, seemingly insignificant customs and manners that are the visible manifestation of a country’s intersocial attitudes. Living in a foreign country where you can compare dozens of such conventions with your own country’s conventions taught me that there are numerous possible timbres to a society beyond the social timbre that we each grow accustomed to in our home countries. This experience in turn helps me to better understand people from different backgrounds and upbringings.
When I return to the U.S., I look forward to teaching some Japanese elevator manners to my peers.
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